Fall from the summit of pride!

In a place where I smile but without joy,

Where I live but without life,

Where I walk but on fiery sidewalks,

Where even the air refuses to enter the soul,

And the chillness dries out the tears;

The Sun shines heavily but,

No warmth I can feel around me;

No shoulder to talk to and where,

Courtesy comes at a cost.

Is this how death feels? I ask myself.

No malady seems greater,

Than what is the present state.

The land is so foreign it confused me,

And sent my principles to hell.

Solitude took me prisoner,

And I it.

A prince turned vagabond, 
A fakir in disguise I was.

Thought I set out to find God, but

Instead took advice from the devil.

The mind wandered to dark places,

Against my will and control was futile.

I misread, missed my way and went astray,

Talked when I should have been silent,

Thought when I should have slept.

In a moment of fit, threw up a tantrum when, 
An unsuspecting angel,

Got caught in the crosshairs;

Its wings singed and pride injured.

Unable to help for fear of further injuring,

I stood there and my head bowed until,

I realized that it was no less than a death blow.

No amount of excuse would suffice,

To repair what has been undone.

A thousand births I would take

For the sole purpose of redemption.

But even that feels undeserved, because

The greatest sin is betrayal of trust.

How could I ever bring myself to reconcile this?

I lost the moral ground of which I have

Always be too proud of.

May be this is God’s way of telling,

“You are not as prefect as you think.”

To proud to realize how blessed I was before,

It is now all ruined.

There is no more hope.

Dare I say, that one day in the future

I can face my creator and seek forgiveness!

I will trade Him the benefits of all my good deeds,

In return for my guardian angel’s restoration;

Free it of all scars, past and present,

So that it may emerge,
Once again in all its glory and pride!